At the Moment

I ended the last blog (Connecting the Dots) with starting a pursuit. I will start my next blog there. But before I do that I think it's only fair for you to understand what the last few weeks have been like for me. This might allow you to understand where I am coming from, and possibly where I am headed. (That's a BIG possibly)
Anyways...So I found out there was a possibility for me to go to Haiti this summer about 2 months ago. When the opportunity arose I immediately became ecstatic and started making plans. I was also blessed in the opportunity to take a friend with me. So I am also extremely happy to know that one if my really good friends will be able to join me as I embark on this pretty crazy adventure to the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Well everything was going fine until about 2 weeks ago when I started thinking too much. I started to realize a little bit of what I am getting myself into. This occurred about the time I bought the plane tickets to get down there. I also started conversing with a few people that will be guiding me in my efforts to start some type of permanent organizational system for the incoming supplies at the hospital I will be staying at. Since the earthquake that occurred in Haiti not too long ago there has obviously been an extensive amount of supplies consistently arriving at the doorsteps of this hospital. There have been a different group of volunteer doctors that have donated one week of their lives to go and serve at this hospital. The downside is that it is hard to find somebody that can and would be willing to donate more than a week of their time to help in any sort of effort in Haiti. This has led to a different group of volunteers (mainly doctors) to go every week. As far as I know I do not believe that there has been one volunteer that has gone for more than one consecutive week. Groups arrive on Saturday and leave the next Sunday. Due to this lack of consistent personnel at the hospital, it goes without saying that there still has yet to be formed a consistent organizational system for the mass amounts of incoming supplies (random shipments of 5-40 pallets at a time) Well this is where the opportunity has risen for me to go and head up the efforts to form a more permanent solution to this problem of chaos. At first I thought it was gonna be awesome and I was more than happy to partake in this task. That is up until a couple weeks ago. I started doubting myself and my skills. After all I am only a 20 year old college student with little experience in this type of work. I started envisioning myself getting to this place and within the first week becoming overwhelmed and shutting down. (Ultimately failing) Right now, back at home, it easy for me to understand that I am going to Haiti to serve God. THAT'S IT!!! And it's easy for me to know that if I keep this mindset of serving God that the outcome of my project will not be as important. Thus, I would be able to do my work with a good attitude and do the best that I am capable of doing. BUT...I also know that understanding that concept here is a whole lot different than sticking to that concept when I am faced with thousands of boxes to sort through and organize. So I began to get scared, I was scared of failure, scared of loosing site of God, scared of failing my creator, I was just really really scared. So what did I do? I started to pray. And I grabbed my Bible for the first time in quite a while. I opened it up and started reading. For some reason or another somewhere throughout this praying and reading I became "enlightened", if you will, to the ultimate purpose of my being. Since the moment I cracked the Bible I was at peace, I was no longer scared, and the excitement rushed back into my veins. I must say that this was no ordinary comforting through the Bible experience. I literally have quadrupled my understanding of God, the Bible, and what I have to do with any of it. I started "Connecting the Dots" as I explained in my previous post. Furthermore I feel like I changed from leisurely walking towards God to sprinting in my pursuit to know my creator. In my next post I will try to explain that change, and the realizations I came to. I will say this again, and I will continue to say this. I know that I am, and always will be, in the process of learning and growing. I do understand that the "realization" I come to today has the definite possibility of changing drastically in the future. So, whoever is reading this, please know that I am not stuck in my ways. And I am always down for listening intently to a different point of view. WELL, I have to go study for my last final now. Hopefully I'll be able post the next segment, "The Pursuit", by tomorrow.
Let God's will be done,
-Daniel